SON OF MAUDE

SCENE ONE -- THE HEAVENLY ARCHIVES Stacks of filing cabinets climb to the ceiling. Two large wooden desks side by side, the angel RAPHAEL seated behind one, writing in a large old-timey ledger. Then the Archangel GABRIEL rolls in across the stage on a chair (think Nathan Lane circa 2005, entrance applause) coming to a rest right next to Raphael's desk -- and collapsing onto it with a sigh. RAPHAEL Don't start again, Gabriel. GABRIEL It's 1999 -- one thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine years since all the excitement ended, and we were named co-Administrators of Defunct Prophets and Prophecies. Almost two thousand years since I had a chance to do my pageantry. RAPHAEL May we be blessed for two thousand more. Now -- is your time card late again? GABRIEL You don't get it, Raphael. You're made for bureaucracy -- but I was created to deliver good news. I used to be fun, Raphael -- I used to be exciting! You know, when I first appeared to that little virgin Mary to tell her the good news about Jesus, she said -- RAPHAEL You've told me, Gabriel. Thousands of times. GABRIEL I'm sorry to be a bore, but -- people loved seeing me. I loved seeing people. And now I see... nothing.